


Hero

by captainofelos



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, F/M, Fluff, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:34:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25502941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainofelos/pseuds/captainofelos
Summary: angsty one shot i wrote
Relationships: Ricky Bowen/Gina Porter
Kudos: 15





	Hero

It’s a haunting feeling. It was a constant in the back of Gina’s head. It was always by her side, mildly during the day and raging at night. She could describe it as feeling sad and desperate. She really wanted to fight it, but she could only pretend for so long. Ricky watched her leave, her dress scrunched in her hands as she walked through the crowd of people. He wants to follow her to make sure she’s okay, but he stays where he is standing. He can’t follow her, it’s not his place. Instead, he turns away, losing Gina to the crowd and starts to talk with Nini to distract himself. Although he’s talking, his mind is focused on Gina. She was silent until she said she needed to go to the washroom and Ricky for a second actually believed her. He wants to believe she is okay, but he can feel that she isn’t.

She locks the door behind her as she enters the washroom, which allows her to feel at peace for a moment. It is a lot colder in the washroom due to the lack of people. Gina softly sighs and grips the countertop in front of her, and watches her knuckles turn white from her grip. She doesn’t look in the mirror because she knows the second she does she will only see her sad eyes and her pathetic smile. She lets out a sob, body shaking because she can no longer fight her feelings.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” She screams, slamming her palm on the counter, which causes a burning feeling in her palms. She quickly wipes away her tears and wonders why she’d couldn’t feel good for once. All she wanted was one night where she could feel happy, but it was clear that tonight was not that night.

“One night,” Gina whispers to herself, “all I wanted was one fucking night.”

She didn’t think it was a lot to ask for, one night where she didn’t need to lie to Ricky about why she was leaving. She knew he was starting to get suspicious but she didn’t want to tell him the truth. She believed that if she told him the truth he would leave her, or that her problems were too much and he doesn’t have time to help her with them. Her eyes meet the ones in the reflection and she finally gives in, she could feel herself falling to the ground as she lets it all out. It’s a sad sound, an empty cry in the dark as she buries her face into her hands and wonders why she can’t be good enough. Her cry bounces of the walls, echoing in her ears and it only makes her cry harder at the sounds. She had to be strong. But it is hard being strong when she’s fallen so hard and so often. She wishes someone could hear her cries, because to her the sound was loud, but the rest of the people continued to party on with no care for the girl sobbing alone in the washroom.

Ricky’s eyes scan the room, he’s looking for Gina but there is no sign of the brown-eyed girl. It seems like she’s vanished from the dance completely, which isn’t anything new. However, this time she promised Ricky she would stay, and yet here he is looking for her. Ricky wanted Gina with him tonight because she provides a sort of comfort to him. She makes him feel at peace while in a room full of his classmates. After about twenty minutes he finally excuses himself and goes to look for her. He wasn’t mad at her, all Ricky wanted to do was spend the night with Gina. He wanted to leave the party and bring her home and go to sleep. He just wants to hold Gina close and tell her that he loves her, but he can’t. He’s scared to lose her for his own selfish reasons. Ricky sighs, runs a hand through his auburn curls, moving through the bodies to try and find Gina. He wondered if she left him? If she was still in the washroom? If there was even a washroom? No, Gina would never have just left. She would never leave without a reason, even if it was a pitiful one. He should check the washroom...unless Gina would think it’s weird? Ricky groans before turning around and going to get another drink. She would return, he was sure.

Gina isn’t sure how long she was in the washroom, all she knows is that she finally stopped shaking, but her heart was breaking. She wanted to feel alive again, but her life nowadays was a dull grey as she struggled most mornings to leave her bed. She wants to be able to get excited over something, to be loved, to have someone hold her when she gets like this and tell her it’s okay, but her cries go unanswered. Her head falls against the cabinets, tears slowly streaming down her face until they stop. She’s exhausted trying to pull herself together again. She wondered why it was so hard for her. Why couldn't she be happy like her friends? She wants to be able to tell Ricky how she truly felt, have him hold her while her heart breaks, and whisper nothing but nice things in her ear.

Her coffee is cold. She sits in a small cafe,laptop on the table, making fun of her with the essay she needs to finish, but her mind is somewhere else. She’s more focused on the boy sitting beside her, chocolate brown eyes and messy auburn curls. Ricky Bowen, her best friend since she transferred to East High in Grade 10.

“Earth to Gina!” Ricky says, waving a hand in front of her face. “Hey?”

Gina shakes her head, a curl slips from behind her ear. Ricky has to resist the urge to lean over and put the curl behind her ear.

“Sorry Bowen, I was thinking. What’s up?”

“I was asking if you were okay?”

Her heart clenches at the thought of him caring about her, but she knows it’s not in the way she wants him to.

Ricky knows a little bit about her, not as much as he would like, but he knows it’s because Gina’s a private person. He knows enough about her to figure some things out. Like why she is spaced out sometimes, or that she sometimes leaves a party earlier than everyone else, or sometimes she just wanted to be by herself in her room all day. He understands, but he can’t help it when he asks if she’s okay. Ricky really wants to hear her say she’s okay with a real smile. Not her normal forced, “m fine” and lopsided grin, but it’s not his job to protect her, no matter how much he wishes it was. All Ricky wants to do nothing more than hold her close at night and let her cry on his shoulder. He wants to be able to press kisses to her forehead and wrap her up in fluffy blankets, eating junk food until the world is bearable again.

“m fine,” She said, smile plastered on her face. And Ricky sees right through it, but he needs to remind himself that he is just a friend to her. A friend that deeply cares about her and wants to know the truth, but he settles for their coffee dates instead.

“If you say so,” Ricky responds, looking out onto the streets of Salt Lake. The sky is blue, which the two of them haven’t seen in a while and it’s a reminder that they are almost done with school. However, his attention doesn’t last long on the streets and he’s right back focused on Gina. She was looking at her laptop, biting down on her bottom lip as she tries to write a few sentences. Ricky watches her eyebrow raise as she gets an idea and how fast and flawlessly her fingers fly on the keyboard. She doesn’t even realize the little things she does that makes Ricky melt. He’s just studying her, looking at her natural and raw beauty that he wishes she sees. He could watch her study all day and get lost in her brown eyes that reflect the soft lighting in the coffee shop. The longer he looks at her, the more small details he notices, that make Gina, Gina. He’s not sure how long he’s been looking, but it doesn’t matter, he finished his homework a while ago, he just wanted to spend time with her.

“Ricky,” she softly said.

He snaps out of his daze, moving his hand from under his chin to rest on the table, “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Gina quietly laughs and Ricky swears the butterflies in his stomach multiplied.

“I said, it’s almost 8. We gotta go.”

“Oh,” Ricky said and he glanced at his computer and saw that it was actually almost 8. “Right, sorry, I guess I just lost track of time.”

“s okay,” Gina smiled, putting her laptop in her backpack and zipping it up. She effortlessly swings the backpack over her shoulder as she waits for Ricky to do the same. The two of them leave together, talking about the next play Miss Jenn is putting on. Ricky pushes open the door, and then steps out of the way to let Gina walkthrough and she thanks him. There is a slight wind that pushes her hair in front of her face, which she tries to push back, but her curls would just slip out again. There is a comfortable silence between the two of them as they try to figure out what to say before they leave each other. Gina opens her mouth, but Ricky beats her too it

“I hope you know, you’re beautiful, has anyone told you that?”

Gina, who is a naturally shy person, freezes, trying to process what Ricky just told her. She is a little taken aback and just stands there, mouth slightly open. Ricky gives her a gentle smile, thinking he probably just screwed up. “Sorry, I just thought you should know. I’ll see ya Gina.”

As Ricky walks away, Gina slowly breaks into a smile. She almost called out to him, but she didn’t know what she would say. So instead, she whispers a thank you and hopes that the wind will carry the words to his ears.

Gina finally pulled herself off the floor, and for a moment she thought she was strong enough to leave and go back into the party, but one look into the mirror and she felt another wave of pain and remorse hit her. She can feel the tears welling up in her eyes, so she screws them shut and tries to will them away. Ricky is out there and she should get back to him, but if Ricky really cared about her why hadn't he found her yet? “There is a perfectly reasonable answer to that,” she tells herself. Or maybe he doesn’t want to find her. Maybe he forgot all about her and left her to cry all alone in the washroom. Gina, pull yourself together! But she can’t, she’s trying hard to just breathe, and yet she’s falling deeper into a spiral. It takes all her energy and strength just to look at herself in the mirror. There was nothing else to do but go upwards, but how does she bring herself back up when she’s so far down? She knows it's a battle and she knows she needs to win this battle. She looks at herself in the mirror, trying to not look at her imperfections and focus on something positive about her, but she couldn’t find anything good. She can barely look at herself normally without all the caked and smudged makeup and tear stains. Her eyes were now red and puffy, and she ran her hands through her tangled curls. She remembers the time at the coffee shop, when Ricky told her she was beautiful, but as she looks at herself in the mirror, she can’t believe his statement. She doesn’t understand how he sees her as pretty when all she sees are her imperfections? Like her chapped lips because she doesn’t drink enough water, or how her curls were never neat and frizzy no matter what she does with it. How could he think she is beautiful when there are dark circles under her eyes from staying up all night rehearsing a dance or studying for her midterms? She believes that there is nothing beautiful about her.

“I have to survive,” She whispers, “I don’t need to be perfect.”

But she doesn’t believe those words. She doesn’t believe words coming from someone who's so damaged, broken and unlovable. Someone who couldn’t tell if her heart was beating. She didn’t even know if she was alive. She didn’t feel like she was. Her thoughts were always with her, and she felt like they were so loud that everyone could hear them. But she reminded herself that no one else cared. No one was with her, it was just her.

It had only been an hour. One hour of staring at her script, re-reading the same lines over and over again. No matter how many times she would read her highlighted lines, her brain wasn’t remembering them. Gina was getting more and more flustered and upset by the minute. The play was about a month away and she was the only one who still couldn’t remember her lines. She didn’t understand why she was struggling to remember them. It could be because a certain auburn haired boy was sitting beside her reading the same script. A certain auburn hair boy she couldn’t forget about. She softly sighs and puts her script on Ricky’s desk, deciding that she just needs a break. But then she looks at her phone and at the time and it just reminds her of her failure and that she can’t take a break.

Ricky looks at Gina through the corner of his eye, he watches her look at her phone and then back at her script before flipping the pages again. He notices the look of fear on her face as she re-reads the lines again. He watched and listened to her read the lines for the millionth time, but he remained silent. Who is Ricky to judge Gina’s studying habits? So he stays silent and returns to his own script, but about a half an hour later he can hear her sniffling.

Gina reached her breaking point, but she didn’t want to break down in front of Ricky, she didn’t want to be the annoying girl who starts to cry because she can’t remember her lines. That wasn’t Gina. She closes her eyes, takes a few deep breaths and pushes back her tears. She needed to leave before she completely broke down. But if she leaves, Ricky will know something is going on and she doesn’t want him to worry. He already has too much to worry about with his parents’ divorce. Gina’s fine. She gets up off the bed, and slams her script on the desk.

“Gina?” Ricky asks, shocked at the sudden outburst. “You okay?”

She nods and purses her lips.,“m, fine Bowen, just have to go to the washroom.”

Ricky’s heart breaks as she leaves him and the room, he almost stopped her, he opened his mouth and had the words on the tip of his tongue, but before he could say a word she was gone and Ricky had no choice but to return to his script, and not know about Gina’s real intentions of going to the bathroom.

Gina closed the door, locked and then dropped to the floor. She could feel the cold tile seep into her skin, but it didn’t affect her because she was used to the lack of warmth in her life. She squeezes her eyes shut, and can feel the tears threaten to spill, so she lets them. She was trying her hardest to muffle her sobs, hoping her sobbing into her hoodie and the door would muffle them enough for Ricky to not hear here. She felt helpless, she wondered why she couldn’t control her own emotions or be brave enough to tell Ricky “I’m not okay and I need you to hold me in your arms”. She was used to hiding behind a face, one that made it seem like Gina was perfect and she felt that face slipping. She was running out of ways to hide her true self from everyone and for someone to see her have a mental breakdown. She was drowning in a pool of her own tears.

Ricky heard Gina crying clearly. He could hear her quiet sobs and he knew the only reason they were so quiet was because of him. It broke his heart that she didn’t feel confident enough to tell him all about her problems and as badly as he wanted to kick the washroom door down and tell Gina how he really feels, he can’t. He knows that Gina doesn’t trust him now, if he confessed his love for her through a door, would probably not help. All Ricky wants to do is make Gina happy again. He missed the olden days when they did High School Musical and Gina was always happy and telling Ricky about her problems. He wishes she could see what he sees, which is that Gina Porter is perfect. He wants her to get that even though she may not think she’s perfect because of all the minor details, those minor details separate her from everyone else. These details are what make Gina, Gina and even if she didn’t love them, he did. He remembers the day they spent trying to save Miss Jenn, they had just finished singing and dancing and she was reinstated as drama teacher. It was exactly what Gina needed at the time, a break from reality. When she finally made her way over to Ricky he pulled her close and twirled her round, and she pressed her head into his neck and never wanted to let go and she didn’t. At least until Natalie came along and grabbed her to go celebrate. And Ricky watched her leave to go hug Ashlyn, his heart was beating so fast and he knew in that moment that he never wanted Gina to leave him.

Twenty more minutes had passed and Gina was still nowhere to be seen. At this point, Ricky knew he had to go look for her. He knew that he had no more excuses and no more self-doubt, that he was going to tell her how he felt and he was going to do it now. Ricky puts his punch down on the table, pushes back his chair and walks into the crowd and looks for the bathroom. The longer he looks, the more stressed he becomes because all of the people on the dance floor don’t seem to notice him and keep bumping into him and it’s like he’s being pulled into the sea, but he refuses to let them. The girl he is in love with is in the washroom and he needs to find her and tell her what he’s been trying to say for the past year. Ricky just hopes he’s not too late. After what feels like forever of shoving past high school students dancing, he makes into the open area of the dance hall. He notices the obvious sign that says washroom and Ricky practically jumps for joy. He stands outside the washroom door and is about to knock on the door when he hears her. He hears her soft sniffles. He presses his ear against the door and listens to her muffled cries and frenetic breathing. Ricky slowly slides down against the door, knowing that Gina was also sitting against the door and for some weird reason it makes him feel closer to Gina. He takes a deep breath, trying to slow his racing heart and remind himself this isn’t for him, it’s for Gina.

“Gina?” He said in a whisper and he hears her stop crying.

“R-Ricky?” She stutters and Ricky can feel his heart breaking in his chest, swearing at himself for forcing Gina to come with him to the dance in the first place.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“Why are you here?”

“You said you were okay! Gi you promised!”

“Ricky, I’m sorry,” She tells him through the door. “I’m sorry, I should be out there with you dancing and instead you had to leave our friends to come find me crying in the bathroom because i’m a massive fuckup.”

“No,” Ricky says as he shakes his head, and leans back against the door. “You aren’t a fuckup, Gina, I’m the one who should be apologizing, I should have come find you earlier. I’m sorry for bringing you to the dance, even though you said you didn’t want to.” Ricky stumbles, trying to properly explain himself. “I guess I was scared.”

“Scared of what?” Gina asks quietly, rubbing her eyes.

“Of losing you,” Ricky breaths. “I know you’ve been hurting for a while and I told myself that I should let you come to me. I thought if I came to you, it would scare you off and I can’t-can’t lose you, but it hurt me so much to know that you were suffering and you thought you couldn’t talk to me. I was waiting, but I can’t wait anymore. Gi, please talk to me.”

There was a silence and Ricky released a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. He patiently waits, hoping that he didn’t ruin this relationship when he hears a small click. He jumps to his feet and dusts himself off. He puts his hand on the door, waiting for Gina to tell him to come in.

“You can come in.”

Ricky doesn’t waste another second, he slowly opens the door and closes it behind him and then locks to make sure they are the only two there. He then turns to face Gina and what he sees breaks his heart, he tentatively reaches his hand out, scared to touch her. Gina takes a second to think and then reaches her hand and wraps her fingers into his and Ricky carefully pulls her into his chest. He shushes her as she starts to cry again, and he slowly brings the two of them to the ground, holding her close to his chest and pressing kisses against her forehead. He had tears streaming down his own face. He’s holding her and rocking them back and forth until Gina stops crying.

“Ricky?” Gina whispers into his chest.

“Yeah?”

“Did you mean what you said?”

“Said what?”

“When you called me beautiful, that day at the coffee shop.”

Ricky carefully cups Gina’s face and turns her face so that she is looking at him.

“Yes and I still mean it.”

“Why?” she questions. “I’m not-” she hiccups.

Ricky shushes her, moving her hair out of her face. “I know that you don’t see it. And I don’t understand how, but I’m not here to tell you how to see yourself. What you think are imperfections, I think are beautiful mistakes. The things that you hate, I love. And I will love them till I die. They make you, you, Gina. It’s what makes you stand out from everyone else. They remind me that you are here. I know you don’t see it like that and it’s okay, but at least let me.” Ricky stands up, giving Gina a hand to help pull her off the ground. He rests his hands on her shoulders and steers her toward the mirror, and he notices the small flinch she makes.

“Look at the bags under your eyes.” He tells her and she nods.

“They tell me you’ve been up all night studying because you want to graduate and go and do amazing things in this world. And your chapped lips remind me of all the summers we spent in the sun, getting burnt and only drinking fruit smoothies from the beach shack because we love them. Or your curls that you think are ugly, I think are beautiful.”

Gina lets out a small giggle and Ricky feels his heart soar.

“You really love all of those?” She asks, meeting his eyes in the mirror and he knows now is the perfect time to tell her the truth.

“Gina, I’ve loved you since we were in high school. That night in Big Red’s car after homecoming, I knew something changed and I never wanted to see you leave. Even if it was just to go to your house.”

“Since Homecoming?”

“Yeah,” He replies shyly, and rubs the back of his neck. “I want to be the guy holding you at night and making sure you are sleeping. I want to be the guy telling you it’s okay to cry and hold you while you cry. I want to be able to kiss you every day because I love you. I want to be the one who tells you that you’re beautiful in your own way.”

Gina turns around, and laces their hands together, marveling the way their hands fit perfectly. “Ricky, I want you to be the guy who does all of that. Starting right now.”

“Gina Porter, you’re beautiful, you know that right.”

“I do know, thanks to you.”

Ricky leans down, resting his forehead against hers, putting his hands on her cheeks. He brushes his lips on hers and her eyes shut at the feeling and he takes the chance, he’s been dreaming of since high school. He can’t believe that he waited till now, she fits perfectly in his arms, like she was made for this moment and he never wants to let go. He wonders if she can read his mind when she puts her hands’ on top of his, a quiet reminder that she’s not leaving him.

“Thank you,” she breathes, feeling like she’s in heaven.

“Why?”

“You saved me.”

“I love you,” Ricky blurts and she laughs and pulls him closer to her.

“I’ve loved you since Homecoming, Ricky.”

Ricky smiles like a loser when she tells him that he feels like his life is complete now. He is dating the girl of his dreams, he is about to graduate from university and the girl he’s been in love with since he was 17 just admitted she was in love with him.

And Gina, finally felt alive, happy and loved. She could feel her heart beating loudly in her chest and she feels a smile break out on her face as she realizes that her fear of being empty and alone is gone and is replaced with the feeling of happiness from being in Ricky’s arms.

“My hero,” she whispers against his lips.

“My beautiful girl,” he whispers back before leaning down and pressing his lips to hers again.

**Author's Note:**

> so i've had this in my drafts for about 2 months-ish and was deabting posting it because of the josh allegations, but i finally decided to post it because i really worked hard on this


End file.
